Not Another Veela Fic
by Lily Potter-Malfoy
Summary: Draco gets a marvy idea which involves every cliche about Veelas he knows of. With the help of the Big Book O Veelas, he'll carry out his plan and get the girl...er...boy DxH
1. The Beginning

Lily: Hey peeps, the downstairs compie is now functioning wit Internet so I'll use this and update for now since my compie is still out of commission. I got this idea from watching too many teen movies and then attempting to read some Harry Potter ff. J'espere que nous amuserent

It was a dark and stormy day when Draco Malfoy came up with his plan. Really it was quite a bad weather time for Hogwarts and Draco had been in a foul mood all week. Nothing made Draco's mood better and everything made it worse but the one thing that put him in a mind to kill was Harry-bloody-Potter.

"Look at him!" exclaimed Draco, watching Harry laugh gaily with his sidekicks.

"Who does he think he is laughing like that? You'd the think the whole bloody world was made of money or…or candy." Crabbe tried to make a remark but failed miserably and decided to stick to his steak and kidney pie. Goyle was in the infirmary from a rather malignant rash originating from somewhere below his waistline (so Draco didn't know the specifics). Pansy was nowhere to be seen, she was most likely making out with her newest man-toy. Had Draco taken care to notice, he would have seen someone from the Gryffindor table was missing as well; but he didn't and thus we don't learn who it was or why it was significant until later.

"Harry Potter thinks he's so bloody amazing. All smug with his friends and…and victory," Draco snarled, glaring daggers at the slender Gryffindor as he bit delicately into a pancake. Crabbe tried (and failed) to say something again but Draco wasn't paying attention. A little light-bulb had just gone off in his head and he had the most amazing idea.

"Crabbe, what is it that people always think I am but I really am not?" Draco asked, eyes boring into the endless enchanted ceiling.

"An arsehole.." Crabbe mumbled through his blueberry muffins, Draco scowled.

"No!"

"A bum bandit?"

"Well that I actually am...sort of."

"A muggle loving softie on the inside of your hard cold pureblood exterior?"

"Gods no Crabbe! What do you think I am, some kind of fan fiction character?"

(Crabbe and Draco suddenly look around the great hall suspiciously and the authoress sneezes as she writes)

"It's a magical creature Crabbe…what was its name again? Veera? No. Veelie? No. Vee…"

"La! Veela!" Crabbe cried excitedly. Draco rolled his eyes and petted Crabbe's big stupid head,

"Very good old man, shall I give you an award?" he said sarcastically. Crabbe, not comprehending the sarcasm understood the word "award" which to him had become the same as "candy from Draco's mother". Drool began tocollect in the poor idiot's mouth. Draco sighed and shook his head but a brilliant plan was already forming in that lovely blond cranium. It was then that the clouds parted and sunlight shone on Draco, he smiled his wicked smile and went to the library. He had some studying to do.

Lily: Chapter one. Short but I've no time, this isn't my compie and I'm on a limit. But next chappie we find out what all this madness is about!


	2. The Plan

Lily: so, in the lag time between chapters of TLAV, I've been writing a lot of nonsense. By nonsense I mean one-shots all linked in some way to the abominable "19 years later" that shall henceforth never be spoken of. Aaaanyway, since I came back, I've had a bit of a stroll about my fics and thought I should probably take it into my hands to continue and possibly finish some of them off. And that puts me here, in Not another Veela fic, trying to finish it so there's one less thing left wide open. Alright, with that, chapter 2.

* * *

He'd always known he was a genius; it was just too bad that the rest of the world placed so much importance on things like _grades _and couldn't see past his quite…_blonde _marks into the true brilliance that was his mind.

The plan he'd formulated was incredible, unbeatable, and incredibly sexy, or was that just him? Draco shook his head, smiling, how was it possible to be so smart?

"Draco, your expression is terrifying" Pansy, who was seated to Draco's left, drawled. The blonde Slytherin snorted,

"Nothing on this face is terrifying Pans, I am always sexy beyond belief" he drawled. Pansy rolled her eyes,

"Well what has my gorgeous little blonde been up to while I was gone?" she asked sounding entirely uninterested. Draco divulged his dastardly deviations to her anyway, she could well be used to bring about his ultimate victory over Harry Potter.

"Alright Pansy, but you've got to promise you won't swoon at my brilliance. This plan is, after all, amazing" Pansy raised an eyebrow which usually meant 'continue, you giant ponce you' and Draco decided to ignore her eyebrow mockery and tell her his plan.

"Well, you know that rumor about me? The one where I'm a Veela? Well, I don't see how anybody _wouldn't _think that, I mean, I'm gorgeous! But anyway, I figure that, to bring the Great Gryffindork himself down from his perpetual high horse, I must humiliate him in the most widely public way!" Pansy nodded,

"And how do you plan to go about said embarrassment? And what does it have to do with your apparent Veela-ness?" Draco's smile got wider, here was the truly genius part of it all, the core of all his brainstorming the night before.

"I make him think I'm a Veela, that I'm his mate, then fall in love with me, and then…then I dump him and tell him it was a giant joke!" he waited fro Pansy's awestruck swooning to begin but the other Slytherin simply stared at him.

"I see," she finally said,

"Now, have you always been this much of an airhead or is this a new thing? Because if it is, I'll tell you right now airheads are not attractive" Draco looked scandalized. He? An airhead? He almost gaped at Pansy but stopped himself as gaping was highly uncivilized,

"Pansy, maybe you haven't had enough time to process this yet. I'll leave you here to absorb it, all that genius can be hard for the regular minded people to process. I'm going down to eat lunch" with this said, Draco rose and exited the common room, leaving a trail of salivating Slytherin girls in his wake. Pansy shook her head; sometimes she really wondered how he held his head up with that colossal ego.

"Lavender Brown!"

"Blondicus Femminus, distinguishing characteristics? Extremely vacant until someone mentions the words, boy, shopping, or sex in which case she suddenly has a brain"

A round of raucous laughter.

"Draco Malfoy!"

"Snarkipus Arseirus, distinguishing characteristics? Extremely ponced up, considered nature's most physically attractive but is said to have a serious case of emptyheadedness second only to the Blondicus Femminus"

At the Gryffindor table, a sort of game was being played. It consisted mainly of people naming other students and Ron Weasley "classifying" them and then naming insulting characteristics of them. It has been going for half an hour before Draco Malfoy walked in immediately after his own name was called. The Gryffindors burst into laughter when he entered, Draco didn't care much, it was only when he saw Harry laughing as loudly as the rest of them, head thrown back to expose a long slender throat, did Draco suddenly get angry.

"Bloody, Potter." He muttered before remembering his great Plan. Soon, very soon, that laughter would be tears. Yes, Potter crying sounded most agreeable. Potter in tears beneath him, flushed red from the tears, messy hair even messier, lips parted in soft anguished cries, breath coming out in short pants. Draco smiled and began to eat.

He didn't even pause to think that maybe, just maybe, there was something incredibly odd about his most recent stream of thought.

"Lasagna today" he said to himself. He took one last glance at the still laughing Potter and imagined tears sliding down that flushed face,

"Excellent"

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Lily: I know it was shot, but this fic doesn't really have long chapters like the others. Um, yeah, I don't think this is going to follow anything that happens in the HP universe really. So no one should worry about spoilers or anything. So, I hope y'all enjoyed it! 


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